Day 134 (A Hundred & Thirty-Four) of 365 days
Have you ever said something out of anger that you later regretted? Do you let fear talk you out of taking the risks that could benefit you? If so, you’re not alone. Emotions are powerful, your mood determines how you interact with people, how much, how you deal with challenges, and how you spend your time.
Managing your emotions isn’t the same as suppressing them. Ignoring your sadness or pretending you don’t feel pain won’t make those emotions go away. Unaddressed emotional wounds are likely to get worse over time. And there’s a good chance suppressing your feelings will cause you to turn to unhealthy coping skills — like food or alcohol. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings while also recognizing that your emotions don’t have to control you. If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you can take control of your mood and turn your day around. If you are angry, you can choose to calm yourself down.
When we turn toward our cravings, we are less likely to engage in addictive behaviors; when we turn toward our physical pain, we are less likely to be trapped in cycles of chronic pain; when we turn toward our sadness, we are less likely to be stuck in depression; and when we turn toward our anxiety, we are less likely to be paralyzed by it and can find it easier to bear. Learning to embrace dark emotions will not only bring about a significant reduction in your anxiety but an ability to experience the joys of life more fully and a growing trust in your ability to handle life’s challenges.
If we want to live more fully and be our most authentic selves, we need to turn towards our pain, not try to suppress it. But what can help us get there? The tools of mindful attention, self-compassion, and acceptance. Besides pushing away uncomfortable feelings, many of us have been conditioned to judge our emotions in negative ways. We’ve learned that if we show sadness, it’s a sign of weakness; that we are a bad person if we feel anger or jealousy; that we should “move on” when we experience loss. When we come face to face with difficult emotions, we often tell ourselves to buck up and stop being silly or that there’s something wrong with us. When we practice mindfulness in combination with self-kindness and a recognition of our common humanity (the fact that we all suffer as human beings), we cultivate self-compassion.
Managing your emotions is very much a question of choice. Do you want to, or not? So much has been written about emotions and how to deal with them effectively, yet many people can’t control this area of life. Why? Managing emotions effectively is actually like developing a skill or a habit. It is a way of doing something better, and as humans, we struggle with change the most.
It isn’t easy and that’s why so many people don’t make an effort and give up. But once you can control your emotions, life changes for you in more ways than you ever dreamed possible. Not only will you feel way more empowered and in control in life, but you will be happier and much healthier as you won’t be stressed or weighed down so often.
