Day 170 (A Hundred & Seventy) of 365 days
Losing a loved one is like having the rug swept from under you. We make plans for the day and do not think twice about how those plans can be taken away in the blink of an eye. I never thought much about it myself, until I was faced with the shock and undeniable truth of my mom’s death. I do not think anyone thinks about tragedy until they are faced with shocking news.
It is amazing how we take life for granted. The tragedy never goes away. You just learn how to cope with it and keep moving on.
The world seems to stand still when you are told. That feeling you have never felt before, of total sadness. You feel faint and dazed as if you are falling or dreaming. You were told this was going to happen, but you could never be prepared for it. You don't know what to say, you are speechless. You burn up, feel dizzy but no tears will come. You have to get out of there, to escape, run away, anything to make this feeling fade. You just don't want to believe it had happened after everything. Part of you wants to cry your heart out and the other part wants to hit something with the anger that raging inside you.
Is losing someone ever easy? From my personal experience, it is not a smooth ride. Having to deal with death is like having a hole drilled in your heart. Truth is, some people lose one to many people over a short period, due to different circumstances. Imagine that, having multiple holes drilled into your heavy heart. This set of people due to former experiences become experts at dealing with death.
Losing someone close is not an easy task. I always looked in the mirror and told myself, “It will get better, I will make it through this storm.” Only to slowly be brought back into reality and try to understand that they are never going to come back. You get comfortable with it, after having to do it every day, multiple times. Waking up to call a name that will not be mentioned again because it is too painful to rethink. It seems like every day becomes harder and even more difficult to overcome. I thought that we would live forever, that every person would stay healthy and live forever. I come to realize extremely fast that I was very wrong.
The most valuable lesson I got from this was to appreciate every moment and the memories you get to make with your family. These are the only things that will be kept after they are gone forever. Also, I believe that if you don’t value this kind of small stuff that in reality means a lot then you are not living life to the fullest.
