Day 197 (A Hundred & Ninety-Seven) of 365 days
Most people assume there is an objective physical world outside of themselves which they explore while awake — and then as they sleep, their experiences are entirely a by-product of their minds. I’ve been rebelling against this duality and claiming that it is possible to receive signals from “outside” during the dreamstate. I say the reason it doesn’t seem like there is a coherent dreamworld is that we are like babies who haven’t yet learned how to assimilate the dream stimulus into a fitting coherent model. Thus, for us “dreamstate babies” it takes time for the right signals to fall into place so we can understand what we are seeing, even if it doesn’t fit the 3-D model we learned as “waking babies”.
Another way to break the duality would be to argue that our waking experience is not as firm and rigid as we believe, but rather emerges from our mind and not from the “outside”. Thus, one might want to practice bringing one’s waking life toward using more of the models that come from dreams (being able to conjure and transmute matter, levitate). This is a very different direction than constantly bringing reality checks and stability into dreams… it’s about bringing the malleability of the dreamstate into waking life.
The phrase, “you create your reality” has been part of the Western vernacular for at least several decades now. Originally a statement promoted by those with a more progressive perspective on life, the idea behind the phrase is now commonly found everywhere from books, to television, to popular music and in movies. But while I’ll admit that it is empowering to think I influence my world, and easy to imagine that your reality can be very different from mine, obviously that doesn’t mean I can fly just because I want to “create that.” So what does the statement mean? Is it true? And if yes, how does that lead to a smart and happy life?
The message reminds me that regardless of the experience happening around me, how I respond, how I choose to perceive that experience is always my choice. Even when the reality I am going through and observing is not perfect — is sometimes quite ugly — what I choose to take away from any of it is my prerogative. And while I can’t “fly” just because I think it would be fun, I can certainly purchase an airline ticket and go where I want, decide what to see and do on my “journey,” and determine the people who accompany me day-in and day out. From those perspectives I do indeed create my reality. Perhaps an even better way of thinking about it is that I create the experience of my reality every minute.
What if creating our reality is less about making ourselves feel safe, protected and in control and more about trusting that we can be happy and at peace with the uncertainty of life no matter what occurs? Maybe it’s less to do with making sure everything works perfectly in our favor, to instead seeing everything as it unfolds as already perfect. Chances are good we are here for much more than playing it safe and getting everything we ever thought we wanted.
We don’t have total control over what happens to us — in fact, often we have no control at all. But we have considerable control over how we relate to what happens to us. We can be mindful of our feelings and hold ourselves with kindness and compassion. We can accept what life brings us, rather than fighting life or always trying to fix or change ourselves. We can be more mindful of our inner critic and gradually replace it with an inner caregiver.
Embracing our human grief and sorrow can deepen our compassion and empathy for others. If we reduce everything that happens to us to unhelpful thoughts, we bypass our feelings and our humanity. We plant ourselves firmly in our heads rather than bringing our heart and soul to our human experiences — embracing the joys and sorrows of being alive and recognizing our felt connection with each other and with life.
