Day 218 (Two-Hundred & Eighteen) of 365 days
Choosing to spend time doing things by yourself can have mental, emotional, and social benefits, but the key to reaping those positive rewards comes from choosing to spend time alone. In a culture where we often confuse being alone for loneliness, the ability to appreciate time by ourselves prevents us from processing the experience as a negative thing. In fact, getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.
The freedom of not having to follow the lead of others, with “no pressure to do anything, no pressure to talk to anyone, no obligation to make plans with people,” is a great way to process and decompress, even for highly social individuals. It also helps us discover new interests and ideas without having to worry about the opinions of others. Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are.
Before getting into why there’s happiness in being alone, it’s important to untangle these two concepts: being alone and being lonely. While there’s some overlap between them, they’re completely different concepts. Maybe you’re a person who absolutely basks in solitude. You’re not antisocial, friendless, or loveless. You’re just quite content with alone time. In fact, you look forward to it. That’s simply being alone, not being lonely. On the other hand, maybe you’re surrounded by family and friends but not really relating beyond a surface level, which has you feeling rather empty and disconnected. Or maybe being alone just leaves you sad and longing for company. That’s loneliness.
Solitude provides you with the perfect opportunity to be with yourself and truly understand who you are. Being alone with your thoughts can reveal a lot about you that you otherwise wouldn’t realize. Gaining this deeper understanding of yourself will help you in all facets of your life. And not only for yourself, but for others as well. The better you know yourself, the better you are able to be a partner, friend, and person in all other relationships. Furthermore, this understanding can be applied to anything you are dealing with: your fears, your struggles, your demons — anything can be realized with some alone time for you to think.
We’ve all heard of the great artist or writer running off to the highest mountain or desolate lake to work, away from all distractions. They do this because it really does work. When you have a clearly defined task that requires focused attention, being in solitude is the best way to achieve your goals.
Solitude is clearly a valuable practice in life that we all need to try and take advantage of more often. In reality, you can find solitude anywhere, you just have to make the extra effort to do so. By paying attention and making the most of the lulls in your day, you can find solitude daily.
And just a word of warning. The goal is not to be in solitude all the time either. There is value in interaction and collaboration, but there must be BALANCE. Right now, it seems like we’ve gotten away from this balance and are a little too connected.
So try and take some time for yourself and be alone. You may find that it’s a lot more enjoyable than you thought.
