Day 240 (Two-Hundred & Forty) of 365 days

"An eye for an eye" seems to be a phrase that people will always live by. Any person that has wrong done to them seeks revenge and justice. If they don’t take action then they at least have some thought of vengeance. Women, historically more than men, seem to abide by this saying. Of course, it is like second nature for all humans to seek revenge on people that have done them wrong. People not only do this to make it "eye for an eye" but also so that they are not humiliated by the people around them.

Many times vengeance occurs because of the hate and lack of forgiveness that we hold against others. I as well as many people in today’s world, struggle with forgiveness and the need for vengeance. I want to be able to forgive those who have hurt me or wronged me in some way. But, somewhere in my mind, I seem to find that a daily struggle and so hard to do. I have learned the hard way in life that vengeance only causes you more pain and hurt, as well as the person you are seeking revenge against. Seems like no matter how hard I try to forgive a person and say I have, somewhere down the road that vengence always seems to wanna sneak back into my mind, especially if the person has wronged me again. Then you have a problem all over again.

The struggle with revenge is centuries old. Shakespeare said, "If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?" Shakespeare thought revenge was as normal and predictable as the sun rising. Maybe, but what about the idea that revenge is self-destructive? Confucius said, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Gandhi seemed to agree with him when he said, "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

Maybe the purpose of revenge is in preventing certain hostile actions or the threat of revenge ensures people do not hurt you in the future. But sometimes people act revengefully when no good can come of their actions, other than to inflict suffering on others. Those actions can go to unfathomable extremes. From lovers running over a beloved iPhone or destroying what their ex most values, to businessmen damaging the careers of those who have rejected them, to students opening fire in school hallways, revenge can be an act of anger, hurt and power. People who have been hurt or betrayed seem to believe without any doubt that if the other party suffers, then they will feel better--their emotional pain will lessen. Is this true?

When someone has wronged you, it’s normal to feel a spectrum of emotions: anger, sadness, and sometimes even a desire to wrong them back. This is a good time to ask, though: Does getting revenge work? Is it worth it to hurt someone who has hurt you, or do you end up feeling worse? Is it ever possible for revenge to make you feel better? Well, getting revenge does make you feel a lot happier. Worth noting, though, is that it still doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right move to make.

But while getting revenge might help you feel validated at the moment, it ultimately doesn’t change your life or circumstances. And, while some acts of getting revenge may seem "harmless," they can also be dangerous and cause serious damage to someone’s life or livelihood. Even if you get temporary relief or happiness from getting some revenge, it might be worth finding other ways to handle your emotions. It’s the only way to break the constant cycle of bad feelings — and actions.

The most healthy way of living our lives is to carry out actions that are only intended to be positive, or neutral, towards others and not intentionally trying to cause someone else distress, pain or upset in any way. A better way to channel this energy is to instead put it into making yourself feel better. However, one potential way revenge can make us feel better is by redefining its connotations.

You should be aiming for, not how you can hurt the person if they have done something horrible, but working on yourself and find ways of making yourself happy, and let them know that you have. So, you seek revenge on the person who hurt you. They then take revenge on your revenge…and the cycle continues. Make sure you don’t get caught in a loop, it will only cause you further pain and hurt. Try and leave negativity and people who bring you down in the past. They are not worth your time and energy.

So, is revenge worth it? No.