Day 296 (Two, -Hundred & Ninety-Six) of 365 days
Along with the constant ebb and flow of life, pain and trauma are inevitable. Experiencing hardships is going to happen, and we have no control over it. Obtaining genuine happiness comes from releasing control of life and its outcomes. Acceptance is a major way to connect to peace but is challenging in dark times. When we experience hurt or trauma, it can seem impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When something traumatic occurs in my life, it takes me many days to fully process the effect it has on me. I’ve come to learn it takes more than just a few days to bounce back from something that leaves mental and emotional scars. Something that has made me a more resilient person, is understanding my emotional patterns and fears surrounding distress. Over time I learned how to convert sorrow into strength. Ever since I had this discovery, I am better equipped for life’s curveballs – which most of us have been experiencing as of late.
The first step to turning pain into power is to allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to feel those heavy emotions coming over you. The longer you pretend not to feel them, or shove them to the side, the longer they will float in the abyss of your thoughts. To properly heal, we must process the damage and feelings associated with the trauma. We cannot create a solution when we are unclear about the problem. Oftentimes, as a coping mechanism, we turn to socializing or staying busy to distract ourselves. Some even turn to harmful substances or behaviours instead of facing triumphs head-on. A big part of healing is having empathy for yourself, and the maturity to take proper steps regarding your emotional health.
When I experience something painful or traumatic, I pause and take a day or two to myself to be still and address the hurt. This may look like taking a day off of work, to rest and reflect. This can also look like asking for help about my day to day responsibilities so that I can look after my mental health. If I feel particularly scattered – I may journal to organize my emotions and check-in. It is okay to not be able to process alone. Sometimes, you need a good friend for a listening ear or even a professional to help you unpack hurtful experiences. Do know, that by abandoning your thoughts – you are prolonging the healing you need. Find a way to healthily release.
Being hurt by people I love hurt me, losing my loved ones crushed me, but losing myself was the thing that hurt me the most. There were times I was crying right before an examination and still had to wipe my eyes, get up and do what I’ve got to do to reach that goal. Did this mean I wasn’t hurting? No! I just had to accept the fact that I’m hurt but I’ve still got to get up and support myself because that’s who’s the life I’m in control of. I can’t lose myself. That’s how I pushed through.
This last tip I want to share with you for how to never give up is: Be true to yourself. People who have pushed through adversity are often asked to share their stories. Don’t be scared to share yours, and when you do, be authentic about it. You don’t have to create a life you didn’t live. Own your narrative and use it to make a positive impact on others. I’ve been through a lot, and I’ve found a way to take that pain and turn it into power through writing.
I still face adversity and I still have my breakdowns. I just get back up faster than I could before because I've been able to power through my pains.
