Day 36 (thirty-six) of 365 days
Achieving goals by setting appropriate and positive boundaries, asking for help when we need it, and being confident and positive about our abilities.
This virtue helps us stand up for ourselves in any situation and say No to peer pressure, as well as being able to negotiate when having a disagreement. Assertiveness also builds confidence, self-esteem, and ability to form and maintain stronger relationships.
Assertiveness is a healthy way of communicating. It's the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. Every day, we're in situations where being assertive can help us - like approaching a teacher with a question, or doing well on a job or college interview.
Being assertive doesn't come naturally to everyone. Some people communicate in a way that is too passive. Other people have a style that is too aggressive. An assertive style however, is the happy medium between this two. Speaking assertively send a message that we believe in ourselves. It makes us not too timid and not too pushy. It enables us know that our feelings and ideas matter.
It is not always easy to become more assertive, but it is possible. So, if your disposition or workplace tends to be more passive or aggressive than assertive, then it’s a good idea to work on the following areas to help you get the balance right.
Value yourself and your rights
To be more assertive, you need to gain a good understanding of yourself as well as strong belief in your inherent value.
Voice your needs and wants confidently
If you’re going to perform to your future potential then you need to make sure that your priorities - your needs and wants - are met. Don’t wait for someone else to recognize what you need. You might wait forever.
Acknowledge that you can’t control other people’s behavior
Don’t make the mistake of accepting responsibility for how people react to your assertiveness. If they for example, get angry or resentful towards you, try to avoid reacting to them in the same way.
Express yourself in a positive way
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and to confront people who challenge you and/or your rights. You can even allow yourself to be angry! But remember to control your emotions and stay Respectful at all times.
Learn to say “No”
Saying no is hard to do, especially when you’re not used to doing it, but it’s vital if you want to become more assertive.
Being assertive, likely won't happen overnight. But by practicing these techniques regularly, you will slowly build up the confidence and self-belief that you need to become assertive. You'll also likely find that you become more productive and efficient and respected too!
